Future??

Can anybody predict future?I wish i could, if i could predict future, i dun have to worry so much what if i made wrong decision. Someone has told me that if there is really a person that can predict future, it can be a sad story for him. I ask 'WHY?' He said 'Our future depends on our decision' I accept what he said, its totally correct. It is so sad if our future fixed and we are just following the flow.

I wonder how my future will be, initially i expect my future to be in the brightest ever than what i can expect. What i meant the brightest is i wish everyone will recognise me in future no matter from my career or from other areas. I love singing, once a time i follow singing class and have been singing on the competition stage, but then due to some factors i stopped. now once in a while i will be singing at home, haha..

Now i feel it does not matter whether how bright is my future, i just wish i can enjoy every single seconds of my life. I will try every things that i wish to. I don't allow myself regret on what i miss. So i will treasure on every single learning opportunities. On 14th Nov 2009, i was the Master of ceremony in my primary school. It was really great that i could get the experience on the stage again.

was doing the last preparation on the way to the venue

they were singing NEGARAKU..weren't they cute?

I don't care how my future will be, i just wanna treasure what im having now. Good to have my lovely family, my lovely friends and my classmates being with me at the sadness and happiness. Thanks to them that i could become tough and never give up in coping problems. I am Big Big Girl now.

Secrets in my deepest heart~~

SECRET 1: It has been 2 weeks training in HKL, today we had a jamuan for hari raya, it doesn't look like hari raya celebration, it looks more like datin's big day. The first thing of every guests do after entering physio department was hugging her and many sarcastic words that im not really used to hear it.

SECRET 2: There's a therapist who is very famous in our college, he's rarely talking with students, but being very friendly and nice to other stuffs. And god bless me i had chance to follow him this week. although i don't really agree with wat he corrected me, but i understand the reason he is strict to students. i tried to practice wat has he taught me and fully get used to that way. Once on wednesday when i finished treating patient, he came and talked with me. Seriously i was shocked that he was so friendly to me all of the sudden. Actually he wanted me to warn my partner for tis posting-Shantini about the sequences of giving treatments. I was stunt and just said yes yes, until he said he pass me for the practical skills. my heart was flying up high, at least my hard work was not wasted.

SECRET 3: Love-wat's love?love is a noun and can be a verb. 'I love you' is the 3 words that might steal a girl's heart, it seems couples now will repeat this 3 words at least twice a day, early morning and at night before sleep. For me, 'I love you' is really easily to be said, but it is hardly to be felt. Action is always more important than words n explainations. Girls always like to be loved, but they don't realise who is actually their Mr Right. Same goes to me myself. Im now exploring in a strange place of my heart that i never been. How long i should take for the tour? i hope i could discover my strange place of my heart as fast as possible.

SECRET 4: I seem to be a tough girl, but i am weak in some way. I actually hate to be alone, i need bunch of friends to talk to. When i have difficulties, i will have someone to talk and share, i can't keep with myself, i will die with loneliness with problems spinning in my head. These days i had dreams about someone i miss. I still not able to let go. That is my weakness, when i get in to a relation, i would put whole soul and heart on it. But i actually feel glad that i had someone to think of so far. It's a recreation for the busy life im having now.

HKL Life~~

Sorry im not a good blogger..today is mooncake festival,im staying at home had a *great* family day,yeah,in fact only few of us staying at home, my eldest sister went out early morning, and brother went off after work, feeling jealose that i got no plan for today but staying at home..

v got pizza hut and kfc for dinner instead of mooncakes, ahah.. But my two sisters were so *smart* that bot not enough for our big appetite, look at our body size la,everyone must eat alot ma,haha..like usual,singing while eating..really not good for digestion,but wat to do,i feel happy with tat...haha..

my hkl life is really damn sucks.. waking up at 5 and gotta sleep at 10 or else the next day will be struggling. i never had such a good life style since i started secondary school. now only weekend i can do my stuff, checking mails, watching tv, fb, and blogging. working days really won have free time, all time spent on the documentation works,in hkl v got 3 books to finish, 1)patient record 2) reflective diary 3) everything book , everyday i have to get at least 6 cases to write in patient record and pass up everyday. reflective diary is wat hav i learned in the day and gotta pass up on every thursday. everything book is watever book. So tat's so clear why v have no free time when posting in hkl.

4 SEPTEMBER 2009 i lost something. something tat i really loved,concerned,cared, and i dare to say tat was one part of me. my mood changes becoz of it. my personality changes becoz of it. my environment oso changes becoz of it. basically my life changes becoz of its existence. But now i lost it, it no longer b with me now, now tat its abscent changes my mood, my personality, my environment. It was my decision, i decided to lose it coz i miss my previous everything. i was looking forward to become the previous me.. Now i got the previous me, but i dun seem i got wat i expected. FREEDOM? is tat wat i need, or was tat coz of EGO?

Wish everybody got a great happy mooncake festival day~~

Incident lists

Wow...i can't believe time past so rapid. The gap between the last post is nearly one month. Within this one month, i have undergone quite a number of incidents: Newly born niece, Gathering with my old friends in genting, recently past exams, and now comes my 1st day holiday. I haven't got a holiday plans yet, just wish to fulfill what i couldn't do during my postin weeks and exam weeks. Definitely including writing blog, watching my favourite hong kong dramas, finish the novels that took me so long to read and lastly accompanying my retired parents and family that used to be staying in home.

Comment on the newly born niece, the 4th children that call me auntie, i have to admit that im getting old, no longer a kid that being forced to call every single elders as auntie or uncle. Now im the elder of few kids that i used to force them to call me auntie. This is the process, they must undergo what i have undergone too. So i used to do what have my mum and sisters done on me when i was young, pointing them to do this and do that, saying to teach them some life skills, but very obviously im bullying them. Ha..what an evil auntie i am.

The gathering has been held on 18th and 19th June in Genting. It was a lot of fun despite of the terrible movie and cancelled clubbing plan. There was a really faith written meet of three boys with same age and almost the same names. I have to say, that's really scary and too coincidence. I need comments of everybody that has heard me, is 'WAI KEAT' an too ordinary name or extraordinary name? This name has become important for me since 3 years ago. But slowly i got there is boyfriend of my close friend with the same name. Then this 2 Wai Keat met up and dicovered that both of them were primary classmates. Then the more amazing part is the day of gathering another Wai Kit appears saying he was Wai Keat's secondary friend. I'm confused, i believe that whoever read this is confused too. So my question is what's wrong is this name? i gotta make sure this because if anybody around me shout out the name i will definitely look at where the WAI KEAT is. Big trouble for me. Ha..

During the gathering, i had the few uneasy feelings. The plan named gathering, but few of us including me were paired up. The aim of gathering is actually to fairwell those who going in the government university may be away from home. But it seems the plan was not very successfully. Total nine of us actually split in 3 gang not only when playing in theme park, rooms, and dinner time. This is the only thing that im not very happy in. I always hope that we sisters gang will always have fun together even some of us have paired up. Tomoro will always be better.

I wish all my sisters that gonna have different life pathways friendship forever. HUI CHIN that recently moved to Penang studying in USM, FEI SAN that is gonna fly to TAIWAN this SEPTEMBER for her degree, WEI WEI that has got her life partner and future plan recently, MEIO KEAN that is still unstabil with her life, LEE WAH that has got her happy family and baby. Wishing all of you all the best and good luck, always think of me no matter having enjoyable or miserable period. Because friend is there to share.

What a life@@

I'm tired..really tired, i can't understand why there're people enjoying so much in what they're doing right now. I would say, that's human life, when we were young we were the puppets of rules and regulations no matter from family or school. Now as we grow up as an adult, we are stil sticked with the workshop's regulation and government regulation.

I used to be an obedient to all the rules and regulations attached to me. No matter what the reason the regulation for and who was the one set the rules. No matter set by government, school, family, bond company, boyfriend or myself. I used to stick with it, I used to be a very very very good and innocent girl.

Now that i already almost 20 years old, i'm matured enough to have my own opinon, why should i obey the rules and regulations that i found is useless? I have alot of comment on the recent hot issue about maximum SPM subjects taken. Now government seems to restrict the numbles of subject to 10 and i feel it's really not fair to students. Why are they stil treating secondary school children like puppets? They have their own mind and decision to make.

They are independent enough to choose subjects they wanna take, it's proved by the incredible SPM results came out the past few years. I don't know what made them suddenly come up the issue to restrict the numble of subjects but it really causing trouble for students those who wanna do both science and account together in order to have more options in future.

I myself took 11 subjects including bahasa cina, if they restrict numble of subjects to 10, there will be big chances that chinese students are taking additional maths or accountancy instead of taking bahasa cina. It's not fair for chinese students.

Among the regulations, personal principles are the toughest to follow and obey. When the hopes and demands we are giving for ownself are too high, it will actually causing hectic and stressful life for ownself. For girls we usually think of having a good future and loving family. For guys they will most probably think of earning more money and power of family.

I sometimes feel jealous on friends who give up on having good future but chose to have loving family earlier. They are brave to choose their life. And i think i'm coward..or maybe i'm bit greedy, i wanna have both good future and loving family. i'm also a bit ego to have chosen to be better than others. That's where the stress came from, to have both good future-occupation and loving family is not an easy stuff.

My friends comment on me that my personality doen't suit my looking. My personality shows i'm a pure superwoman but my charbby face shows i'm a 100% housewife type.. do you all think so?

学会自嘲 Learn to laugh at yourself

我们很容易板着一张脸-例如犯了错误之后感到羞愧，或者是想努力维持严肃的模样。但是，生活是能变得轻松的。如果我们不时自嘲自己的某种性格，错误或者某种神经质的想法和行为的话。



当对目前的关系感到疲惫，或者某个工程迟迟未完成，或者把车撞了个大洞，都会令人精神紧张，情绪沮丧。用数分钟时间到外头散散步，自我解嘲一番，将会使你放松，不再坚持十全十美，用新的眼光看待生活。



Everyone has undergone the same situation perhaps..everybody did mistakes and the one who is able to solve the problems might be the smarter one than the one who can't. However, can we say that the one who takes a failure very lightly as the smartest and greatest?



Yeah, actually for the advanced and stressful generation now, we not only have to be very good in communication skill but also have to learn how to cope with stress. I used to think, there are so many ways of coping stress, for example somebody who likes to dance they will probably go for dancing class or party, those who like to stay in own world will probably stay in home whole day during holiday doing own stuffs-im doing this only when i really have nothing else to do( it feels good when staying alone at home).



The same thing i'm doing now no doubt is do relive stress after few weeks have been working in a physiotherapy clinic.The owner of the clinic is a middle aged indian guy with very strict own principles. When i think of this indian guy, a chill passing all over my body. He is sometimes very amusing, sometimes very strict, really unpredictable. He's a good story teller, like to test general knowledge(damn, i always speechless when i was asked).



I feel stress when im staying around him, he works at least 15 hours per day and the maximum working hours he went through is 20 hours. Oh god, how can he bear with the tiredness, the exhausting body and the aging body system since he's already past 50...How can he bear with the stressful hours since he has no rest at all,he's working everyday including weekends.



Somebody works because of habits, somebody works to fulfill daily expenses, some of them work for others like for family and children's education. i did ask him one day, 'Why would you work so hard?' He answered me, work for satisfaction and his children. when children are so excellent in result, will you be thinking to put more effort on their education? He has two children doing medicine now, of course he has to work harder to pay the debt.



I discover the reason why i will be so frightened of him, the first day i enter the clinic i was already nicely scolded.Not to say scolded, but strictly asked.. he asked for my name. I comfirm that there's no mistakes i made after i answered him "my name is Jessy". Then he started asking strict questions, 'why would you use this europe name since you are a pure chinese?', 'you are not proud of your own chinese name?'. i was speechless..



From that day onwards, nobody recognise me as Jessy in the clinic. I'm scared of him and somehow i really miss the feeling being called Kwee Pin or Pin.Maybe i shouldn't have choosen this nick name, but i don't regret, i prefer people call me Jessy still. People at my age are grown enough to have own opinion, and we should stay still on it.



I will recall on this article- learn to laugh at yourself, when sometimes i stress staying around him or scolded because of poor general knowlege. Laugh at ownself is considered as a self comfort skill. It's really usefull and effective. Nobody is perfect, i do mistakes, you do mistakes, even gods do mistakes too. What matters most is our attitude to look into the mistakes we have done. Be upset and regretting on what have we done only are useless.



Keep in mind, once we have done any mistakes, let go it but swear in own heart not to repeat it again. Be happy and cheerful because again we have got a lesson.Life is meaningful so value the time with happiness rather than staying with the miserable face all the time.



Let's do facial exercises, come on, first open eyes widely, yes.. wide enough till you feel the eye lids are strectched, alright, now open mouth widely until the throat is visible, wonderfull.. Lastly, come show the teeth like promoting darlie toothpaste..See how pretty the face is in the mirror. Keep it for few hours might be the best. Probably the mother will be shocked..haha..

Valuable memory

Here i wanna share about my childhood memory..i was born in a shop and had been living there for my age..people will call that as grocery shop instead of a herbal shop even though this shop is registered as the name of 'Kedai Ubat'.

About two months ago i left the shop due to my dad' s retirement. Most of the customers were suprised when they knew the shop is gonna be closed. They wonder why this old shop will suddenly be closed. They always think we were having good business.Yeah, actually seriosly we did have good business few years ago. And i guess due to many other competitiors like giant, jusco, carefour coming out giving promotion, our business getting worse as time past.

I was thinking actually my parents had made a smart decision on buying this shop. Why i said so because this shop is very near to the schools, not only one but few schools. This reason making us very exhausted and tired of serving customers during school open days. Most of the customers will come to buy school bags, shoes, stationary and school clothes. Im saying truthly here, doing student's business is a intelligent decision for earning money. Nowadays i find students are more rich than working people.

Oh god, i miss the shop, i miss my childhood memory in the shop. The past 10+ years i was there and had gone through so much of funny and tough incidents there. I used to be in the shop serving customers no matter school days or holidays. So my friends and teachers actually can look for me in the shop very easily. I used to complain a lot to my friends that i didn't have enough time due to working in the shop whole day from 10 morning to 9.30 night. Of course i never complain to my dad because everyone of my siblings actually work as me too.

There are people asking me how could i study as i spent most of the time in the shop.Ha..If the shop is still here, i will say its a secret, but now i share the secret to you guys here. Actually i used to hide behind the shop to study and do homework. That's why my dad had to hire a indonesia maid to help. Naughty me ya.. i know.

The last few days before the shop was closed down, i carefully stared at each of every corners of the shop, i found quite a lot of my drawing and writing on the wall. I found my name on the wall too, i guess i wrote it when i was small enough to learn how to write my name. That will be a memory in the shop there.

'Kedai Ubat Kim Loy' will always be in my heart.